"What's your body count?" sounds like a simple question, but ask five people how they count and you'll get five different rules. Some only count penetrative sex. Some count oral. Some count anyone they've been sexual with at all. None of them is wrong.
This calculator lets you pick your own definition, tick off what you did with each person, and see your number. You can also see how much the total moves when the definition changes.
Body count calculator
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Same list, different definitions:
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How to calculate your body count (without a calculator)
- Pick your definition first. Decide which kinds of contact count before you start, so you're not making it up person by person.
- Count people, not times. Your body count is the number of different partners, so someone you've been with fifty times still counts once.
- Go through it in chunks. Memory works better by era: school, uni, a particular city, a particular year, a dating-app phase.
- Be consistent. If you change your definition later, recount everyone with the new rule.
What counts? There's no single right answer
There's no official definition of "body count". It's slang, and people use it differently. Researchers don't agree on one definition either. Big sex surveys set their own rules and then state them. The US National Survey of Family Growth, for example, counts partners you've had vaginal, oral or anal sex with (NCHS, 2011). Even so, what someone personally files under "sex" varies a lot, which is why survey numbers and your own number may not line up.
Common ways people count:
- Penetrative only. Vaginal or anal sex. This is the narrowest common definition.
- Penetrative + oral. Closer to how many health surveys define a "sexual partner".
- Any sexual contact. Includes hand stuff and other genital contact. It doesn't depend on penetration, so it works for any combination of bodies and genders.
Whatever you choose, a few things are worth keeping in mind:
- Anything that wasn't consensual is yours to leave out. You get to decide whether it belongs in your number. Many people choose not to count it, and that's completely valid. If something happened that you want to talk about, organisations like RAINN (US) and Rape Crisis (England and Wales) offer free, confidential support.
- For sexual health, a wider definition is more useful. Several STIs can pass through oral sex or skin-to-skin contact. If you're working out who to tell after a positive test, count everyone you had sexual contact with in the relevant window. See our STI window period chart.
- Your number isn't a score. It doesn't measure your worth, and nobody is owed it. Curious how it compares anyway? Here's what the research says about the average body count by age.
Rather not recount from memory every time? BodCount keeps a private list of partners and meets on your iPhone and works out your body count for you. There's no account to create.
Get BodCount freeFrequently asked questions
What is a body count?
It's slang for the number of people you've had sex with. What counts as "sex" isn't fixed, so everyone's number depends on their own definition.
Does oral sex count towards your body count?
It depends who you ask. Some people only count penetrative sex, while others include oral. Many health surveys, including the US National Survey of Family Growth, count vaginal, oral and anal sex partners. Pick the definition that makes sense to you and use it consistently.
Do you count the same person twice?
No. A body count is the number of different people, not the number of times you've had sex. Someone you've been with many times still counts as one.
Is this body count calculator private?
Yes. It runs entirely in your browser. Nothing you enter is saved or sent anywhere, and it's gone as soon as you close or refresh the page.
What is a normal body count?
There isn't one. National surveys show a wide spread, from people with no partners to people with dozens, and medians differ by age, sex and survey. See our average body count page for sourced figures.
Why does my body count matter for sexual health?
It mostly doesn't. The total number matters less than knowing who you were with and when. If you test positive for an STI, recent partners within the relevant window may need to know so they can get tested too.